Wednesday, September 26, 2012


As it's been awhile since I've blogged, I should probably give an update (even if it is solely for myself =)).  It's been almost 10 months I think, since I've tickled the keys in an attempt to clarify something within my own soul.  There's been so much evolution within that short period of time that in truth, I didn't think it would be possible to even attempt to make sense of it all.  But perhaps that's the concept... one of incredible transition.

I have to admit that often I feel a bit caught...
I have a deep sense of privacy,
and a deep need to contemplate
to ruminate
to sit still with everything that occurs in my life.

Yet how do I do that, when things only pick up speed, and the amount of projects being offered us, are piling up.
There's hardly ANY room to absorb it all
It seems every time we turn around, the opportunities abound
and I am happy about it,
yet I am also conflicted about the need to take it in
to understand
to piece together this puzzle, which grows exponentially by the day??

I'll admit that we have a Creed of working and living in this industry and it is admittedly anti-thetical to the Hollywood "way".  We're committed to living and working solidly... Meaning that we keep artistic and intellectual integrity as we work.  Maybe it's not glamorous, and maybe people constantly underestimate us.  At least, they do till they see us work... And then, they want to keep on working with us.  And then they pass on the word to their friends.  And THAT is why we have work coming out of our ears.  We have 4 projects we're working on concurrently, and that's not small.  We have a fantastic reputation with everyone who has ever worked with us... And the other things we're doing on top of the movie projects are exploding.  I'm proud of our work. I'm proud of the life we're attempting to build.  One based on God's love, faithfulness and solidity.  Not one based on name-dropping and the latest "project" that someone is "hoping" to get off the ground.  Show me REAL work.  Not BS.

We will not sacrifice family or our health in order to impress someone who could care less about our souls or hearts.  God is blessing us abundantly, and we didn't have to sacrifice our sanity and a more thoughtful way of doing things in order to get notice of "important" people.  God controls our lives.  Not some director, producer or crazy conductor who tried to smear us.  God always gets around the crazy... Always.  The people God wants us to know, we'll know.  If He takes someone out of our loop, there's a reason. If someone says they want us to go for a feature they're working on, by submitting on spec and which could be a huge "breakthrough", and then they drop the ball by not sending us the cut scenes ... There's a reason.   (That actually happened in the last 7 months.  I think I might know the reason and it has to do with God's spiritual protection of my relationship with my husband.)  Especially when we have so many other projects that we're scrambling to manage the sheer volume, I sure as heck am not going to worry about it.  There's a reason.

Our creed is this... Work hard, give our best artistically, be as intelligent about it as possible, don't bs- let our yes mean yes and our no mean no, ALWAYS take the humbler part, always take everything as a lesson- even when we already know it.  If someone comes along to "school" us without any respect to what we've actually done, let them. In the end, they only make themselves look bad.  Love each other, no matter what.  Be faithful and work for the good of the family ALWAYS.  Never let a project keep us from our first priorities.  Be clear.  Always respect others, even when they don't respect you, but be clear at the same time that we can't be taken advantage of by exhibiting pure charm and humor that draws lines in an attractive way.

Living this way is incredibly hard, but true success lies in consistency, discipline, giftedness, talent, and true respect for the underlying dignity of every person we encounter.

I endeavor to be that Hollywood person that doesn't blow a horn, that pushes hard at excelling for the right reasons and forges a way with my love/partner/husband in an honest and truly artistic way unique to the both of us.  If God blesses us, then what else matters?? Not much.  He knows when we're ready to work with certain people and when they're ready to work with us.  If the timing isn't now, it will be later and God will orchestrate those reunion meetings and the altered relationship that will allow for us to all work together at that point of time.  Why be impatient?

To love, to be solid, to not make promises I can't keep, to develop my particular voice and to not let another person try to form something within me which isn't real... these are all true, good and the future.  We have to live with ourselves, no one else does.

I have a vision, and every day of my life has only confirmed it for us.  I'm excited and supremely patient.  The ambition is not mine, it is His.  So long as I stay true to it, and keep my baby on the same path, we can't help but fulfill the long term big picture vision.  God's time, God's way. ;)


When the clouds overshadow and hide a little gem
time is only biding the moment of it's revelation

In moments not seen, does the most beautiful stem
a root that's only hiding the moment of its' inspiration

For ambition can't push a lock into passing
a flock that's so fair, but not fit to crashing
a form thats not fitting
in moment not hitting
creation made only for right time and measure.

When the cloud parts open and shows a little den
diamonds only shine in moment of contemplation.

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