Monday, March 28, 2011


On the Feast of the Visitation, 3 years ago, I wrote a blog on Our Lady of Guadalupe. At the time, I wanted to pay a simple homage to Mary. It was one that I felt was warranted, after an unusual experience 2 years ago. I was still living in Michigan at the time, and had little to no idea of where I would be by April of 2009. However, I did know that my time was up in the Midwest. And I couldn't see myself staying past Easter. As it turned out, Providence conspired to get me back to California by Divine Mercy weekend. I packed up my crazy red van and left Easter morning for a cross-country trip home.

On the way over, I felt that special tingling, which told me something very good was about to happen. I didn't know what form it would take, but I had a suspicion. In fact, I had more than a suspicion… I had an outright vision. Along with this vision, was a plea to God to let me have at least a year of getting settled, before starting on any new adventure… relationship or otherwise. Of course, I knew He was laughing at me over this request, but I had to at least try.

When I arrived in Los Angeles on Divine Mercy saturday, I went to go visit my buddy, Aaron. As I walked into his home in San Gabriel, I felt that strange sense of deja vu. When I walked up to the piano in the front room, I found a piece of music that was being worked on. It was titled "Kyrie". My hands began to tingle. So out of curiosity, I began to play it. As I played it, I had an experience I rarely have when encountering a piece of music for the first time. My heart began to pound a strange rhythm and I started crying. Yes, … crying.

Now, granted, I love poetry and beautiful things, but I rarely get so emotionally affected in the moment. In fact, I tend to have a delayed reaction to situations. Granted this reaction can be deeply intense, but again… it's usually wayyyy AFTER I have an experience. I am rarely overwhelmed. As a result of this, when I do feel overwhelmed, I KNOW I'm supposed to pay attention.

I felt as though, I was surrounded by eternity and all the angels and saints. It was as though, I was being given the most profound "green light" of my life, and much of me was actually afraid of it. But I did know… that I needed to meet the man who wrote that music. Period. Statement of fact. I felt tremendously nervous yet profoundly peaceful at the same time. An odd mix to say the least.

I knew I would meet him that day, even though, I was told he was out of town. And when my friend Aaron got a call back from him mentioning that he would hang out with us that night, I wasn't surprised at all. Aaron was surprised. Maggen was surprised. But I wasn't. I remember my friend Maggen, turning to look at me and saying… "you're getting one of those 'feelings' again, aren't you?" I just shrugged and didn't say anything. I think in part, because I couldn't breath.

Well, I did meet him… and we talked non-stop for hours… in fact, until almost 2-3 in the morning. We lost complete track of time and track of everyone else for that matter. There we were at "Catholic Underground" surrounded by a ton of people and they all disappeared. All I remember was sitting on a bench and chatting and laughing with him, and every now and again being slightly aware that we were attracting attention of some sort, but I was oblivious to the details. Well except someone coming outside and asking us politely "Could you please keep it down? We're trying to watch a movie." Ooops. Were we laughing that loud? Losing track of other people…. That never happens to me. Or rather, it HAD never happened to me till that point.

I know it's hard to see how Guadalupe ties into this, so I'll try and speed forward a bit. That man… told me about his musical piece. And the more I have learned, the more in shock I feel about everything I've experienced over the last… oh, maybe 20 years. I mean, I thought I had experienced that kind of shock before. (In Rome, as well as other times and places.) I thought I was "used" to strange, surreal experiences. Little did I know that all the rest were just preparation for "this" one.

I read the little post I wrote about Guadalupe a few years ago, and I look to my left at a book that contains poems written by the Nahuatl people both pre and post Conquest, and I shake my head over how much of a grace it is to have access to what I know NOW about Guadalupe. I feel as though, I've stepped into this Sacred zone, where everything is possible and nothing is beyond reach. In fact, this has become beyond personal. I'm looking at documents and translations that literally NOONE HAS. We (this gentleman and I) are the first people to come across this information and piece it together the way we have and it is AWE-inspiring. It is intimidating!!! ... and I pray, pray, pray… we'll be given the grace and opportunity to share it with the world. Be it God's will, that is.

As time goes on, the confirmations only increase, not decrease. Today, I had lunch with my abuelita… and as I listen to her stories of Tlaltelolco, and Cuba, and the various countries and people she's had the privilege of being close friends with… I realize again, that God is a weaver of dreams that I can't even come close to understanding. I'd like to try, but truthfully, I want to get on my knees and just thank Him for being such a masterful planner, organizer, composer, and engineer of souls, of hearts. The MASTER ARTIST!

May I have the privilege of learning from YOU, my God!! There are truly NO WORDS!!!!


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