Saturday, October 19, 2013

Soul Mate, Pt. 1

We know how the rom-com movie script goes:

Gal/Guy looks for "the one".  Complains to all their friends/co-workers/strangers on the street that they can't find the right "guy"/"Gal".  Or fuzzy-headed guy is set upon by all his good friends to find the "one", because it's obvious to them he needs that "right" gal.

Exposition starts on all the ways the Gal/Guy might not be exactly be the opposite sex's cup of tea.  Guy is unfocused regarding relationships and oriented towards all the wrong things.  Girl is neurotic, doing too many things at the same time and generally annoying.

Gal/Guy goes through all kinds of obstacles and challenges that force them to grow in order to become "ready" for "the one.  The guy grows a conscience.  He starts donating his time at a soup kitchen, or becomes a "big brother".  The gal focuses more on what she's good at, rather than focusing on marrying some guy.  They both first find fulfillment in something other than the opposite sex.

Then one magical day, they end up bumping into each other on a street they're forced to walk down off their normal route and/or spilling coffee on each other in a coffee shop they both always go to, but never encountered one another prior to then and/or go up to the top of a tall building in NYC, hold hands and then.... voila... the magic happens.  The "Meet Cute" occurs and that's all she wrote.

Naturally, there's a lot of variation of the details, but the heart of it stays the same.  Maybe the couple meets in the beginning of the movie, but they have to grow in some way and get it together before they can settle down and spend the rest of their life with "the one".  Everybody has a soulmate and there's a formula for finding them.  Right?

Tons of people dream about what that "Meet Cute" is going to look like.  (well, if you're a gal you do!)  Everyone has an opinion.  Some even say "it" doesn't exist.  Everybody in the modern day 1st world scenario craves it, even if they won't admit it.  In fact I'd hazard a bet that most divorces occur because one or the other spouse feels they've been jipped and just didn't look hard enough for "the one" from the beginning.  Thoughts?

So, the question is... "Is it real?".  And if it's real, what is "it" exactly?  What is a "soulmate"?  Is it someone who is meets all of your needs and expectations exactly the way you want them?  Is it a series of signs or a physical sensation you've never had before?

Ya know... I've been pondering on whether to write about this for some time.  I hear so many different takes on what this is and how to go about finding the "one", that I knew at some point I'd have to express my thoughts on it in a public sphere.  I can't tell you how many conversations with guy and gal friends I've had, and it's pretty interesting hearing their different takes.

So, here it goes.
First off, I think a few distinctions would need to be made before I tell my story.  I do believe there is a difference between thinking a soulmate is someone who fulfills you externally in everything you say and do (the modern day definition) and thinking a soulmate is one of a partnership that God intends for the sole purpose of two people growing in faith, hope and love.  When considering the "perfect" match for ourselves, we can have the tendency to discount anything that challenges our ways of feeling, thinking and doing things.  Considering how myopic we can all be as human beings, that doesn't bode well for a long-term relationship.

So, the question then becomes... what exactly are we looking for?  What do we expect that someone can give us that no one else can?  What makes "the one"... "the one"?  Is it emotional?  Is it physical?  Is it a magical potion pill that makes the rest of life alright... in fact, great?  Does it mean we'll never go through any emotional insecurity ever again? Does it mean we'll never go through pain again?

Stay tuned for Part Two, and I'll share my story.

Tuesday, January 29, 2013


In the quiet of night
my heart heard a message
that emblazoned itself across my mind

In the silence of the night
the dawn sent a message
that flashed upon the insides of my eyes

A note of thunder
and soft whispers of a breeze
felt, but not touched
clear, but not seen
like candles long lost to time whose wax leaves an imprint on my soul.

Time past, but still present
that lasts, but not present
A reminder made again for this moment
that all which came before
was never to be forgotten
But held in reserve
for just the right moment

Sunday, January 06, 2013

Mystery of Mary

A meditation on the Feast of the Magi:

From "Mystery of Mary" by Fr. Marie Dominique Phillippe (the founder of the Community of St John), when the angel instructs St Joseph to flee to Egypt. This is about Our Lady's response of obedience...

"The gift of piety, which transforms the infused virtue of obedience from within by putting it directly under the motion of the Holy Spirit, enables our acts of obedience to have a note of simplicity and filial trust. It is the obedience of a docile child to his beloved parents. 

Such obedience cannot tolerate the slightest objection or demand of our human reason against the authority of the one who gives orders or against the value of his orders. It cannot tolerate any human comparison or criticism that would diminish the authoritative and absolute character of the order received from the Father. It likes to carry out the paternal order with the utmost generosity and accuracy, knowing full well that in this way it efficiently cooperates with His will, with His reign.

And for this very reason, we must transcend the tragic and dramatic attitude that obedience... creates so easily in our psychological ego, since obedience always implies, to a certain extent, the death of our practical judgement. We must agree, out of our love for God, to completely disappear without making a scene.

We must offer our holocaust without asking for spectators to praise or pity us, whether such spectators be within or outside ourselves. The gift of piety teaches us to die to ourselves in a very hidden way, out of love for God.

Moved by the Holy Spirit and by virtue of the gift of piety, Mary obeys Joseph's order in the most trusting, spontaneous and divine way, since Joseph represents for her God's authority in all that pertains to family and communal life. Without the slightest hesitation or the slightest criticism, without wondering whether Joseph is prudent enough in giving such an order, she immediately carries out God's will for her, conveyed by Joseph. She does this lovingly and joyfully, in the silence of the night.

This act of obedience maintains a joyful note; for although she must leave her native country and her Son's blessed birthplace to travel to Egypt, the place of captivity and exile, Mary goes into exile and TAKES HER SON WITH HER."

Wednesday, January 02, 2013

Meditation- Mary, Mother of God

The Blessed Virgin Mary is born to be Mother. The supreme consolation that Our Lady receives at the cross of her Son is the assurance that her vocation as Mother does not end with Christ's death. The Lord commands the world, “Behold your Mother.” The resurrection begins for Mary – and for us – with these words. The Blessed Virgin's womb remains forever faithful. Mary leads us to Christ, but Christ leads us back to His Mother, for without Mary's maternity, Jesus would become a mere abstraction to us. The Lord wills to “let His face shine upon” us through the face of the Mother of God. We “serve a Mother who seems to grow more beautiful as new generations rise up and call her blessed” (G.K. Chesterton).