Saturday, October 19, 2013

Soul Mate, Pt. 1

We know how the rom-com movie script goes:

Gal/Guy looks for "the one".  Complains to all their friends/co-workers/strangers on the street that they can't find the right "guy"/"Gal".  Or fuzzy-headed guy is set upon by all his good friends to find the "one", because it's obvious to them he needs that "right" gal.

Exposition starts on all the ways the Gal/Guy might not be exactly be the opposite sex's cup of tea.  Guy is unfocused regarding relationships and oriented towards all the wrong things.  Girl is neurotic, doing too many things at the same time and generally annoying.

Gal/Guy goes through all kinds of obstacles and challenges that force them to grow in order to become "ready" for "the one.  The guy grows a conscience.  He starts donating his time at a soup kitchen, or becomes a "big brother".  The gal focuses more on what she's good at, rather than focusing on marrying some guy.  They both first find fulfillment in something other than the opposite sex.

Then one magical day, they end up bumping into each other on a street they're forced to walk down off their normal route and/or spilling coffee on each other in a coffee shop they both always go to, but never encountered one another prior to then and/or go up to the top of a tall building in NYC, hold hands and then.... voila... the magic happens.  The "Meet Cute" occurs and that's all she wrote.

Naturally, there's a lot of variation of the details, but the heart of it stays the same.  Maybe the couple meets in the beginning of the movie, but they have to grow in some way and get it together before they can settle down and spend the rest of their life with "the one".  Everybody has a soulmate and there's a formula for finding them.  Right?

Tons of people dream about what that "Meet Cute" is going to look like.  (well, if you're a gal you do!)  Everyone has an opinion.  Some even say "it" doesn't exist.  Everybody in the modern day 1st world scenario craves it, even if they won't admit it.  In fact I'd hazard a bet that most divorces occur because one or the other spouse feels they've been jipped and just didn't look hard enough for "the one" from the beginning.  Thoughts?

So, the question is... "Is it real?".  And if it's real, what is "it" exactly?  What is a "soulmate"?  Is it someone who is meets all of your needs and expectations exactly the way you want them?  Is it a series of signs or a physical sensation you've never had before?

Ya know... I've been pondering on whether to write about this for some time.  I hear so many different takes on what this is and how to go about finding the "one", that I knew at some point I'd have to express my thoughts on it in a public sphere.  I can't tell you how many conversations with guy and gal friends I've had, and it's pretty interesting hearing their different takes.

So, here it goes.
First off, I think a few distinctions would need to be made before I tell my story.  I do believe there is a difference between thinking a soulmate is someone who fulfills you externally in everything you say and do (the modern day definition) and thinking a soulmate is one of a partnership that God intends for the sole purpose of two people growing in faith, hope and love.  When considering the "perfect" match for ourselves, we can have the tendency to discount anything that challenges our ways of feeling, thinking and doing things.  Considering how myopic we can all be as human beings, that doesn't bode well for a long-term relationship.

So, the question then becomes... what exactly are we looking for?  What do we expect that someone can give us that no one else can?  What makes "the one"... "the one"?  Is it emotional?  Is it physical?  Is it a magical potion pill that makes the rest of life alright... in fact, great?  Does it mean we'll never go through any emotional insecurity ever again? Does it mean we'll never go through pain again?

Stay tuned for Part Two, and I'll share my story.

1 comment:

Kat said...

I love this topic! I always question people who are looking for a soul mate because their version doesn't exist for anyone. We choose the person we marry and spend the rest of our lives with, of course God has a lot to do with it but it is ultimately our choice. Looking forward to your next post :)