Wednesday, November 05, 2014

Master Mixer

The other day I had this great idea to talk about mixing and its relationship with life. 

Mixing is an interesting exercise. The whole point of it is to take a composition and to highlight the various components so that they are simultaneously distinct and blended at the same time. Each composition is different. Some are leaner and utilize less instrumentation and possess simpler melodic and harmonic lines. Some are fully orchestrated and contain more movement. Regardless of the structure of the composition, the point of it all is to bring out the very best of the piece in its' entirety without diminishing the value of individual lines. To Bring out the heart of the piece. Accentuate what flatters while not overpowering the central music idea. 

I find that when working with children and people in general... it's kind of the same thing. The goal... well, at least for me... is to try and find it within myself to bring out the very best in someone else. To not override their personality, but to clearly and openly see what makes them tick and what motivates them. If I'm going to give advice, it has to be geared towards accentuating the best of who they are while giving enough space for them to freely move, do, be and think as they are while at the same time discovering a part of themselves that maybe they hadn't been as familiar with until that moment. Managing to do that is always an exercise in self-discipline, self-knowledge and respect. As I have the natural capacity to potentially overpower people if I were only thinking of myself, it's something I really and truly need to be hyper aware of as I know from personal experience how debilitating it can be to have someone overexert their personality on you. I think that's why my highest value is... freedom.  It's why I will never leave my faith. God promises the greatest freedom that a human being can ever hope to possess in this life. Total freedom to love and be loved; total freedom to be ... to exist. Total freedom to blossom from head to toe as a complete, satisfied and WHOLE person. I've always associated freedom with completion, with totality, with the depth of satisfaction that we all crave on a day to day basis. To be fully saturated with love.... of others, of ourselves, of God.

It's a bit like a perfect circle colored in with all the shades of blue that could ever exist... all distinct, yet pulled together in a harmonious dance that allows each color to shine to its' greatest capacity without overpowering the ones next to it. Isn't that what God is doing with us? Or at least what He WANTS to do with us if we would only trust and let Him???? If we let Him guide and direct our moments each day, we stand a closer chance of experiencing Heaven here on earth. Heaven on earth is God's Providence ruling our lives and opening up the hidden gateways that know all the spaces in between seemingly impenetrable impossibilities. When we open our hearts and minds to the contemplation of true freedom... we discover it's never at the cost of someone else, and it's never at our own cost (our ego's are a separate matter). We are separate yet together; unique yet stronger within a group; distinct yet always in service to the other... true freedom lies in being mixed by the Master Mixer.

He never oppresses, only provides a foundation to run and jump off of; never silences, only strengthens the voices we were born with. He takes our individual lines and creates a composition of such magnitude that were we to throw every fiber of our being into becoming everything we hoped  and dreamed,... if we actually used the full capacities of our brains and hearts.... it would still only be a small fraction of this Master Composition.  May we never dull our lights in fear of there not being enough room for who we are. We are but the heads of pins resting in a field vaster than the mind is even capable of imagining. When we hold back out of fear, it doesn't matter the reason ... it's a scam. That fear has no basis in reality. At our freest, we can fly to eternity with the wind surrounding us and there is nothing... absolutely NOTHING we can't do. Fly high, fly free... and sing your melody. 

"Music is a higher revelation than all wisdom and philosophy."- Ludwig van Beethoven

Wednesday, October 08, 2014


Passion's Tide
in morning light
come scattered in the rain
in soaking past
a moment's fast
light showers begin to gain

a distant call pressed through my soul
eyes gaze in mist towards me
a gentle warning breathed in jest
and tapped the air before me

It's near and wide
and far and dim
this place we call our pasture
yet time will fall and in it's place
the pall shall be the master....

Sunday, February 02, 2014

Consecration to Mary Prayer

O Eternal and incarnate Wisdom! O sweetest and most adorable Jesus! True God and true man, only Son of the Eternal Father, and of Mary, always virgin! I adore Thee profoundly in the bosom and splendors of Thy Father during eternity; and I adore Thee also in the virginal bosom of Mary, Thy most worthy Mother, in the time of Thine incarnation.

I give Thee thanks for that Thou hast annihilated Thyself, taking the form of a slave in order to rescue me from the cruel slavery of the devil. I praise and glorify Thee for that Thou hast been pleased to submit Thyself to Mary, Thy holy Mother, in all things, in order to make me Thy faithful slave through her. But, alas! Ungrateful and faithless as I have been, I have not kept the promises which I made so solemnly to Thee in my Baptism; I have not fulfilled my obligations; I do not deserve to be called Thy child, nor yet Thy slave; and as there is nothing in me which does not merit Thine anger and Thy repulse, I dare not come by myself before Thy most holy and august Majesty. It is on this account that I have recourse to the intercession of Thy most holy Mother, whom Thou hast given me for a mediatrix with Thee. It is through her that I hope to obtain of Thee contrition, the pardon of my sins, and the acquisition and preservation of wisdom.

Hail, then, O immaculate Mary, living tabernacle of the Divinity, where the Eternal Wisdom willed to be hidden and to be adored by angels and by men! Hail, O Queen of Heaven and earth, to whose empire everything is subject which is under God. Hail, O sure refuge of sinners, whose mercy fails no one. Hear the desires which I have of the Divine Wisdom; and for that end receive the vows and offerings which in my lowliness I present to thee.

I, N_____, a faithless sinner, renew and ratify today in thy hands the vows of my Baptism; I renounce forever Satan, his pomps and works; and I give myself entirely to Jesus Christ, the Incarnate Wisdom, to carry my cross after Him all the days of my life, and to be more faithful to Him than I have ever been before. In the presence of all the heavenly court I choose thee this day for my Mother and Mistress. I deliver and consecrate to thee, as thy slave, my body and soul, my goods, both interior and exterior, and even the value of all my good actions, past, present and future; leaving to thee the entire and full right of disposing of me, and all that belongs to me, without exception, according to thy good pleasure, for the greater glory of God in time and in eternity.

Receive, O benignant Virgin, this little offering of my slavery, in honor of, and in union with, that subjection which the Eternal Wisdom deigned to have to thy maternity; in homage to the power which both of you have over this poor sinner, and in thanksgiving for the privileges with which the Holy Trinity has favored thee. I declare that I wish henceforth, as thy true slave, to seek thy honor and to obey thee in all things.

O admirable Mother, present me to thy dear Son as His eternal slave, so that as He has redeemed me by thee, by thee He may receive me! O Mother of mercy, grant me the grace to obtain the true Wisdom of God; and for that end receive me among those whom thou lovest and teachest, whom thou leadest, nourishest and protectest as thy children and thy slaves.

O faithful Virgin, make me in all things so perfect a disciple, imitator and slave of the Incarnate Wisdom, Jesus Christ thy Son, that I may attain, by thine intercession and by thine example, to the fullness of His age on earth and of His glory in Heaven. Amen.

Sign your name here.


Sunday, January 05, 2014

The Road to Beyond...

I wasn’t able to get my 500 words in yesterday, but as we were bouncing around hundreds of miles and meeting with different people I figured I was absolved temporarily.  As a result, it seemed appropriate to come to the table this morning and talk about… you guessed it… Travel.  It’s gotten me thinking a few different things.  #1- how can I write while in the process of traveling in a car for hours at a time? and #2-What kind of traveler am I?  It might seem strange to say this, but I really believe there are different philosophies about traveling.  What you think about it pretty much dictates your relationships and major decisions in life.

I believe I was taught to travel well.  Let me try to explain that. I'm thankful that my Dad instilled a strong sense of adventure inside of me.  My earliest vivid memories all center around us taking a trip somewhere.  They're my happiest memories.  There I was maybe all of 4 years old and I would be riding shotgun with my Dad in the front seat while he taught me how to read a map as we sailed along long Texas highways.  It was the 70's back before all those rules came into play about children under a certain height not being able to travel in the front seat.  And would you believe that I wouldn't wear a seatbelt either?  For shame.  Anyhow, it certainly didn't get in the way of the pure unadulterated joy that goes with the windows down... wind washing over my face; different scents as we passed through different terrain and my Dad's happy chatter as he explained the different places we were driving through with their different stories and people.  There he was pointing out the window at some sign we were passing heralding the advent of a new city to adventure through, then next pulling off to the side of the road to investigate the crazy looking tree that looked like a twisted pretzel bent together by some warped giant.  Meanwhile, my mom would be rolling her eyes in the back seat of the car and asking when we were planning to stop for food and the bathroom.  Good times. 

Another thing that I’m thankful to have been instilled with is the belief that all my needs would be taken care of no matter where I traveled or with whomever I would travel. Fate/Destiny/Providence always seemed ready and waiting to provide a way out of anything; lots of inspiring company, food and conversation; and the kinds of crazy, adventurous stories I would be able to share in the years to come.  I have journals full of memories that could fill quite a few rooms, if not an entire house.  Because of my dad’s infectious, curious spirit and love of travel, I now completely trust that I was given the ability to treat every situation in my life as if I were on some grand adventure.  I rarely feel stuck, because I know that life is in how you perceive it and so I’ve decided to treat it with the understanding that I can have direct positive influence on any situation simply by being open and flexible.  It makes a difference.  

Life is like traveling a path under a night sky.  That can be a challenge, or it can be an exhilarating whole-hearted embrace of new people and new ideas that you won’t discover unless you turn around the next bend.  Learn how to travel well, and you’ll discover the secret to joyous living.  Forever. 

Thursday, January 02, 2014


Many years ago, I made a funny little commitment with myself to set a color theme for every birthday.  I think I was maybe 14 or 15 years old.  So this is the way it works.  I’d say a prayer for a color to be given to me to focus on for the year.  It would then be my responsibility to discover the symbolic meaning of that particular color.  Usually, the way I would and do find out the color is that … let’s say the color “orange” will end up on gifts, cards, decorations for parties thrown for me etc. etc.  And before you say it, YES, as a general rule I would get bombarded by one particular color or a compatible color scheme. Color makes it’s bold splash upon the canvas of my life and …voila!  A theme is born.

This past year, I got dark blue and pale, golden yellow in a particularly Japanese design.  It showed up on birthday cards, gifts that appeared in the mail and the journal sitting on the table next to me.  This birth year promised to be a very deep, intense and fulfilling year.  One of sunny promises and the intangibility of depth and creative prospects that would be explored with great delight and a strong spiritual drive rooted in wisdom that ultimately PROTECTS.

The last time I got these colors, I was 18 years old.  It was a time of great maturation, rich spiritual insight and fresh, open-eyed wonder which drove me through the next 7 years.  When I got them again this past September, I have to admit I got pretty excited.  I have a penchant for clarity and consider it the greatest gift God can give me.  Clarity gives birth to wisdom and to me there is no higher grace.  Wisdom is the wedding of Knowledge and Love.  It is the lion lying next to the lamb; it’s the rose without thorns; it’s the cow feeding next to a bear and it’s the child playing next to a viper.  That is what wisdom represents to me.

So here I am, with 9 months still to go on that theme.  Already the last 3 months have given birth to much adventure and reflection at the same time.  I’ve been traveling, moving, considering and reconsidering friendships; and generally plunging to the depth of any consideration I have so that we can make the very best decisions possible.  My husband and I have made it part of our daily creed to fight for fullness of communication and understanding in everything we do.  When the people around us begin to sacrifice integrity, we say something.  When things fall through the cracks we catch it.  Thankfully, he’s been right next to me in exerting our wills to fight for people.  Fight for each other.  Protect all that is dear to us.  If we’re not willing to protect, we’ll never be able to fully love.  Protect our hearts and souls God! Protect.