Every now and again, I go through a purge.
Maybe it's a closet purge. Or a book purge. A paper purge. A food purge. An organizational purge. An Idea Purge. The clock turns and I feel that if I don't get rid of something, I'm gonna suffocate from the barrage of "things". Anxiety churns in my gut and that feeling of a stuffy, amorphous, wool hat descending over my brain and cutting off the circulation to my eyes start to arise. The house gets claustrophobic and I start noticing dust from the last 2 days coating the dining room table. Everything starts to look dirty. I grab a broom, or a mop, a sponge or the windex and begin scrubbing. The piles of paper that have accumulated from weeks of being in emergency mode start to drive me nuts and I start pulling file folders, labels and pencils out just so I can feel some sense of order. I start scapple-ing all my to do's out and while my brain begins to clear, I am reminded that I have a bigger reason.
Why do I do things? As a 1st world citizen, what am I missing? What am I taking for granted?
Am I doing things to do them? Between social/family expectations, financial & work needs, educational needs, physical, emotional, spiritual ... you get the idea. Where does it begin and end? What's really important? And can I take a break?
So I sat down with my husband and we talked. And we shook our heads and we put all our worries and anxieties on the table. He said his stuff. I said my stuff. We laid it all out. We talked about taking a break this weekend and going to Magic Mountain. Let's go ride on a roller coaster and walk around in the fresh air. Let's get a dog sitter to take care of our German Shepherd who has lots of medical needs. Maybe he should go down to Baja Mexico and breath in the fresh air and do some work down there and I'll come join him at the end of the week. And we took a breath and held hands and said a prayer. And the peace came. And there was love. Just Love.
Maybe it's a closet purge. Or a book purge. A paper purge. A food purge. An organizational purge. An Idea Purge. The clock turns and I feel that if I don't get rid of something, I'm gonna suffocate from the barrage of "things". Anxiety churns in my gut and that feeling of a stuffy, amorphous, wool hat descending over my brain and cutting off the circulation to my eyes start to arise. The house gets claustrophobic and I start noticing dust from the last 2 days coating the dining room table. Everything starts to look dirty. I grab a broom, or a mop, a sponge or the windex and begin scrubbing. The piles of paper that have accumulated from weeks of being in emergency mode start to drive me nuts and I start pulling file folders, labels and pencils out just so I can feel some sense of order. I start scapple-ing all my to do's out and while my brain begins to clear, I am reminded that I have a bigger reason.
Why do I do things? As a 1st world citizen, what am I missing? What am I taking for granted?
Am I doing things to do them? Between social/family expectations, financial & work needs, educational needs, physical, emotional, spiritual ... you get the idea. Where does it begin and end? What's really important? And can I take a break?
So I sat down with my husband and we talked. And we shook our heads and we put all our worries and anxieties on the table. He said his stuff. I said my stuff. We laid it all out. We talked about taking a break this weekend and going to Magic Mountain. Let's go ride on a roller coaster and walk around in the fresh air. Let's get a dog sitter to take care of our German Shepherd who has lots of medical needs. Maybe he should go down to Baja Mexico and breath in the fresh air and do some work down there and I'll come join him at the end of the week. And we took a breath and held hands and said a prayer. And the peace came. And there was love. Just Love.
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